Welcome to Point/Counterpoint. A pertinent topic is presented, and two opposing viewpoints are presented, one by left breast (who will be referred from here on as LB) and a counter by right breast (to be known as RB).
Topic: Hooters Restaurants
LB: “Some say that Hooters demeans woman. This is INCORRECT. It does not demean women, it demeans hooters. For years, breasts have been marginalized as playthings, ‘eye candy’ and the like. But this slipshod label lazily slapped on us diminishes our positive role and influence on all of humanity. We are delicate, soft, and touchable, yes--but brought up with the values and intrinsic sense of right/wrong consistent with the development of a culture steeped in individual freedom, logic, and self-actualization. To focus on only one aspect of our appeal is to dismiss our other, and more important functions. How does it get worse than a restaurant where we are openly prostituted before a gaggle of open-mouthed hyenas hoping only that a hastily constructed T-shirt fails, sending one us spilling out onto their curly fries? I, for one, refuse to have my entire being summed up in one specific description or aspect, let alone one word.”
RB: “We are tits. Let that sentence sink in for a second LB, before you get up on your podium. Nothing grinds my gears more than a breast (or pair of breasts) puffing themselves up on an air mattress of self-importance and blatant inflation of self-worth. Why do we peek out over a tight T-shirt? For attention LB, for pleasure. All Hooters is doing is capitalizing on a primordial truth: People like breasts. Big or small, soft or hard, droopy or perky, it really doesn’t matter, so long as they can be easily viewed at the smallest fraction of effort. Breasts illuminate that which is still positive in the world, showing all who gaze in their direction that, yes there is a lot of evil in the world, but despite this, a few bright spots can still be discerned. They aren’t called ‘headlights’ for nothing. If seeing a bulging breast brings about one iota of positivity from a patron slurping down Buffalo wings whose life otherwise is depressing and dull, I feel my duty to humanity has been served. Jesus LB, you act like we cured cancer or something.”
